Now & Then.

I just recently found out that I didn’t get into a university. I’m disappointed in myself but I know that it’s okay not to get in the first time you apply. The hardest part is letting go of all the plans and dreams that I had for my life if I got in. I basically had imagined all the things that I would do and how I would study and how I could make new friends. It’s all gone now and I have to figure out a new plan for the year ahead.

In some way I kind of knew that I wouldn’t get in. I mean I only had two weeks to study for the entrance exams, I didn’t study enough and on top of that I was working at the same time so my chances of getting in were actually pretty low. I still kept believing that I would get in and formed my future life around that fact which, was not a great move to make. I’m just the type of person who wants to live in the dream rather than in the reality because let’s face it, we believe that the dreams are always better than the reality.

Now that I’ve had time to think, I notice how foolish it was to form my future around the fact that I would get in. Yes, it is okay to hope to to have something but not to form a life around the thought of it. This certainly brought me back in the importance of living this moment rather than living in the make-believe. I’ve been studying yoga for a while now and trying really hard to stay in the present moment. It’s hard but I’ve managed to have periods of time when I’ve felt like I’m actually here and I have nothing to worry about but this moment. Then there are moments like this and I lose myself into my dreams and give them more value than I do for my time now.

What is different now compared to before I started studying yoga, is the fact that I noticed I’ve been living in my thoughts and not in the present moment. I did acknowledge that fact which brought me back into the now and hit me hard. Now I feel like I can look at the situation of getting rejected from a different point of view. I didn’t get in but that doesn’t affect my life right now, it’s not like the school starts today. I cannot possibly know what will happen during the following two months and it might even be that something even better than getting into a university comes to my way and I accept it with open arms. It’s impossible to plan my future as I’m not there yet controlling the way, instead I’m here, in control of this moment that I hold in my hands.

It’s too easy to get caught into the dreams and forget what is actually happening around us. It’s too easy to spend the present moment thinking about the future or even the past and live there rather than make something happen when it matters. But it’s also easy to stop. Just stop and look around, catch the breath and really see what is going on. Acknowledge the present, the now, and decide what can I do now rather than thinking what shall I do then. Decide who I am now, not who shall I be then.

 

Recently Read

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Lately I’ve been really into reading more spiritual books than usual. When I first started to get interested in yoga as a physical practice, I also wanted to explore the spiritual aspects of it. Here are some books that I’ve found really interesting and that have made me rethink my daily habits and how I react to different situations in life.

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DR Wayne W. Dyer: 10 Secrets For Success And Inner Peace

This book is a short read but full of many life changing ideas. This is a second book that I’ve read from this author and I must say that he has a great ability to really inspire and make you reconsider your mindset. With such simple actions he is guiding the reader to explore their spirituality and giving the first steps on finding the inner peace.

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Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat Pray Love

Now, I’m probably one of the last people to read this book but that probably has to do with the fact that I was eight years old when this book was first published. Nevertheless, I absolutely adore this book. I found it so interesting how I could make new discoveries about myself as the author was experiencing different things in the book. I also felt like I was there with her as reading the book which made the whole reading experience really exciting. I find this book to be such a beautiful story about finding who you truly are and really exploring the depths of one’s soul.

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Nischala Joy Devi: The Secret Power of Yoga

This is a great book to read if you want to explore the Yoga sutras more deeply. The author explains the sutras in a way that is enlightening and also gives guidance on how to practice them in a mindful way,  which I really enjoyed. This book especially made me want to explore spirituality and being in the present moment even more. I know that I shall be coming back to this book multiple times in the future.

 

Midsummer

Once again the time of the year when every Finn hopes that the temperature will exceed 15°C but it never really will. Midsummer is supposed to be a celebration of summer but in reality it is mostly spending time at the summer cottage, grilling food outside still wearing coats and pretending it’s not actually cold at all. It’s a bit sad but still a tradition that is repeated yearly because it is, well, a tradition.

Despite all this, I really enjoy spending a little bit of time in the middle of nowhere just sitting by the lake and contemplate things like the water and clouds and how beautiful they are. It is great to just stop and connect with the nature for a while before going back to work where the screens and stress take over.

Happy Midsummer and let’s hope the heat reaches also to this part of the world during this summer…

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One Last Shot

You wouldn’t believe me if I told how many times I’ve started a new blog during my lifetime. I get really excited about starting a blog as I really enjoy writing but after a while I tend to become too busy or just lose interest in writing. Yet again I’ve decided to give it a try. There is something about writing that takes my mind off of everything else that  is going on. I feel my stress and tiredness instantly fading away as I’m typing which makes me even more excited about this one last shot of blogging.

I feel like I’m having a nice break from life right now. Mostly a break from school as I’m graduating next autumn and waiting to get in to a university. This summer feels like a nice little gap between two chapters in my life. I’m a bit sad but excited to leave behind my time in high school and step into university life. I really hope that I get in to either of the schools that I applied to. I don’t want to worry about getting in too much as I want to enjoy this summer and take it easy before the work starts again. I’m so grateful to have gone to such an amazing high school that gave me a lot to work with in the future. I’m looking forward to all the opportunities waiting for me and fulfilling my life’s purpose.

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