The older I get, the faster time seems to fly by. I mean what even is time? According to one of Merriam-Webster’s definitions it’s “a nonspatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future”. Well, this year has felt exactly like events just succeeding one another up until this point. In the beginning of the year my time was consumed by studying and preparing for the final exams. After the finals, my focus went to entrance exams and after them it shifted to work. At work time was clearly divided into three parts: the start of the day, lunch break and the end of the day. Then I received the information that I’d graduated from IB, next day my former boyfriend announced that he indeed would become my former boyfriend. Then it was my 19th birthday, then work continued and ended, leading to this present day. Becoming an adult is so freaking cool until the reality breaks in. Suddenly you have a million things to do in a day, especially if you live alone and the time that previously was dedicated to something fun, is now used to organising your marvellous life.
I’m haunted by the fact that I’m about to officially enter to a time period where I don’t have a permanent studying place or a job. My future seems to be extremely uncertain which doesn’t really get along with my anxiety. My only plan is to do online courses in open university and take whatever substitute teaching jobs I can and see what else will cross my path during this year of doom. I honestly feel like a failure even though I’m definitely not the only person in the whole world who didn’t get straight to university form high school. Ugh my life is so tragic.
On the bright side, I now posses all of the TIME in the world to figure out what to do with my glorious life.